The Vampires and Sayians go Grocery Shopping
by Dbz VD rox
Summary: Vegeta and Goku, along with the rest of the gang, are forced to go grocery shopping by their wives. While they are there, they meet Stefan and Damon. Shopping just became a whole lot more interesting. First crossover fic. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Vegeta groaned as he neared the worst place on earth: the grocery store. Goku and the rest of the gang were right behind him, carrying lists in their hands as they flew to the store dejectedly. Vegeta made a sudden halt in the air and descended towards the ground where no one could see him, completely ignoring everyone as he feet touched the warm surface and he walked inside. Goku quickly followed, reading the list out loud. "We also need milk, soda, and.." Goku paused, cocking his head to the side. "Vegeta, what are tampons?"

Vegeta smacked his head with his hand. _Idiot._ "You moron! Tampons are what girls use when they are on their period."

"Oh.." Goku responded absentmindedly. "What is a period?"

Vegeta settled for rolling his eyes as opposed to beating the living daylights out of his former rival who didn't know the basic units for math. Krillin held his paper nervously in his hand as he looked up at Vegeta. "Where are we supposed to find this stuff?"

Vegeta sighed as he turned his glare towards Krillin. "How should I know? Does it look like I come here often?"

Piccolo nodded. "You're right. We shouldn't leave this mission up to someone who doesn't have a clue as to what he is doing."

Vegeta coldly glared. "Excuse me?"

Krillin let out a stiff laugh. "Well, I'm sorry Vegeta but you're not the brightest vegetable on the market right now."

Everyone exploded into laughter as Vegeta gave them all the glare of death. "Silence! I don't want to hear anymore of this foolishness! Let's just get the blasted items and go!"

They started to walk a little ways towards the frozen food section when they came upon two guys quietly arguing with each other. "No Damon I'm pretty sure she meant this." said Stefan, holding up a pear.

Damon glared at his younger brother, holding a peach in his hand. "No, Katherine specifically said this!"

Stefan rolled his eyes. "Fine, why don't you call her and see?"

"Why don't you pay attention to what your woman says?"

Stefan smiled. "I do. But you listen so poorly I have to pay attention to what Katherine says or else you screw it up."

"Are you questioning my listening skills?"

Stefan laughed. "Not at all."

Damon growled as he pulled out his cell phone. "Fine, I'll call her."

The DBZ gang looked on as the tension between Stefan and Damon grew. "Shouldn't we do something?" questioned Krillin.

Vegeta smirked. "I say we don't. Who knows? Maybe a fight will break out and then we'll finally have some fun."

Trunks shook his head at his father. "You have a weird sense of fun, Dad."

Damon waited a little anxiously as the phone rang slowly. Finally, a women's voice could be heard on the other line. "Hello?"

Damon cleared his throat as he began speaking. "Katherine, it's me."

Katherine smiled on the other line. "Why hello Damon. Are you having any trouble finding the things you need?"

"Yes actually. What kind of fruit did you say you wanted?"

Katherine sighed as she rolled her eyes. "A pear, Damon. I want a pear."

Damon nodded as he glared at Stefan who smiled victoriously back. "And why do we need food?"

"Do you forget everything I say? Gosh you wouldn't remember your head if it wasn't attached to your body! We are having human guests over tonight for dinner, and when I say dinner I mean dinner for them, not for us. You do remember that big announcement we planned on telling everybody right?"

Damon nodded. "Of course. How could I forget?"

Katherine sniggered. "Congrats! You finally managed to keep something in your head for once."

Damon rolled his eyes. "I gotta go. See you tonight. Love you."

Katherine smiled. "Love you to you forgetful vampire."

Damon snapped his phone shut and turned back to Stefan, grabbing the pear out of his hands and throwing it into the buggy. Stefan laughed. "Did my poor brother just get scolded-"

"Shut up!" hissed Damon rudely as he rammed the buggy forward, pushing past all the people and accidentally running into Vegeta who was smirking widely. "Trouble in paradise?"

Damon glared at him. "Shut up and get out of my way. How did you know about that anyway?"

Vegeta laughed. "Because I'm a sayian you idiot. I can hear things from far away."

Damon smirked. "Oh like a vampire can?"

Vegeta let out a coughing laugh. "You believe in those bloodsuckers? You really are stupid!"

Damon smirked his face changed and his fangs came to full view. "Not as stupid as you are."

Vegeta's smirking face slowly faded away into one of shock as he stared at Damon with his mouth touching the floor. Stefan sighed, dropping his hands to his black jeans. "Great, look what you did Damon. Now we have another person who knows."

Goku slowly came up to them and smiled at Damon, completely unfazed by his appearance. "Hi I'm Goku, what's your name?"

Damon stared at Goku in shock. How could this person not be shell-shocked like this one is? He's either very brave or really stupid. "How come you're not looking at me the same way as vegetable head over here is?"

Goku shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

"Do you know what I am?"

"Um you're human. Duh!"

Damon shook his head. _Strike that he's stupid._ "I'm a vampire you imbecile!"

Goku nodded with his mouth in the shape of an "O". "What's a vampire?"

Vegeta, who had recovered from his initial shock, gaped at Goku. "You really are the mother of all things retarded. A vampire is a creature that sucks your blood!"

"Oh so they are bad?"

"Actually, some vampires are good." Stefan intervened. "Like me, I only hunt animals and don't hunt people. But my brother Damon, the one you see before you, hunts innocents."

Damon rolled his eyes. "My brother feeds on bambi blood and I feed on human blood but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm bad."

Stefan crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh really Damon? Then what does it mean?"

"It means that I like to have lots of power at my disposal and you don't."

Stefan shook his head as he turned back to the group of people standing before them. "So are you guys forced to come here too?"

Vegeta shook his head. "Nah, we're here because we just love the store and picking things up for the wives."

Damon laughed. "He has a great sense of humor."

Vegeta smirked. "I concur."

After a few minutes of talking with the rest of the group, Stefan clapped his hands together. "Well, now that we know each other, lets continue grocery shopping."

Damon and Vegeta mentally groaned as they, along with everyone else, began their hellish grocery shopping.

A/N: Haha this idea came to me after reading a fanfic relating to this similar subject. I hoped you guys liked the first chapter! Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Trunks smiled as he led the way. "I know this place better then anyone here, considering I used to come here with Mom when I was little."

Stefan and Damon nodded, following the Z fighters as they were led into an isle full of boxes with funny looking characters on them. The shelves were covered in endless rows of cardboard boxes; some were red and others were different variety of colors. Goku stared intensely at the list in hand, trying to figure out what they needed from this section. "We need some Coco Puffs."

Trunks nodded and grabbed a bag of sugary chocolate from the shelf. Damon leaned forward and stared at the brownish bird on the box with a spoonful of round chocolate in its wings. "That's a bird? That's so stupid. I can become a bird that is ten times better then that disgrace."

"Damon don't!" cried Stefan but it was too late.

Everybody watched as Damon sprouted wings and his whole body convulse and transform into a black, slender plump body of a crow. Dark, hard orbs stared back at everyone as the crow sat on the ground, its whole lower body covering its talons. Goku stared in astonishment, eyes wide and mouth open. Stefan just shook his head. "Damon, stop messing around. We need to get the rest of the items and go."

Damon turned its black beak towards Stefan and cawed once, ruffling its feathers before going back to his human form. Damon sniggered. "That was fun."

Stefan just rolled his eyes. "Don't do that again please."

"Whatever you say animal killer."

Stefan glared. "Atleast I'm not a human killer!"

"Ouch." replied Damon dryly as he laughed.

The Z fighters looked on in confusion. "What are they talking about?" whispered Goku.

"We're talking about how Saint Stefan here chews on squirrels! He has them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner." sneered Damon.

"And Damon has a dose of Mexican in the morning, African at noontime, and Caucasian humans for dinner." retorted Stefan, giving his brother the evil eye.

Everyone stared in morbid horror. Damon laughed. "Sorry, I don't eat guys with slot of muscle so you guys are safe. Besides, vegetable head's blood might weaken me!"

Vegeta's face slowly stared to turn red as he stammered for words. "Oh look, it's turning into a tomato!" Damon exploded in laughter while Stefan just gave his brother a disapproving stare.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" Vegeta yelled, charging up his ki and firing a ball of white-hot energy towards Damon.

Damon smirked as he moved out of the way and watched as half of the store was blown to bits. All of the Z fighters were trying to restrain Vegeta but he swatted them away like flies and charged at Damon, grabbing him and throwing him into the canned foods. Damon growled as got up, flinging himself at Vegeta when two arms wrapped themselves around his waist and held him back. "Damon stop!" Stefan exclaimed.

Vegeta laughed. "Aw too bad. Looks like the twilight reject can't beat me after all."

Damon growled. "Come over here and say that to my face." By now, various people had stopped what they were doing and were gaping at Vegeta and Damon. Damon quickly turned his head towards them, eyes widening. "You didn't see anything. Go home now."

The Z fighters watched in amazement as the shoppers carried on like nothing had happened. Goku turned to Damon in shock. "How did you do that?"

"Compulsion." Damon replied simply.

"It's what we use to compell our prey to do things we want them to do." explained Stefan.

Goku nodded. "Thanks Edward!"

Damon exploded into laughter as Stefan started to twitch. "I am not that sparkling fairy. I am Stefan."

"The unshiny version!" laughed Vegeta hysterically.

"For once, I agree with you." smirked Damon.

Stefan closed his eyes and counted to three, trying to calm himself down. "Shall we continue?"

Goku laughed as he walked forward. "Sure, whatever you say Edward!"

Damon and Vegeta continued to kill themselves with laughter as Stefan turned his glare to them. "Shut up!"

Vegeta turned his head and looked at him, his laugh dying down. Stefan's eyes widened when he realized what he did, and then a devilish smirk took over his features as he gave Damon a knowing look. Damon caught on instantly and began to grin himself. "Great idea brother."

Vegeta looked at them both, confusion sweeping across his face. "What great idea?"

Damon turned his eyes towards Vegeta, an evil glint shining in the deep ocean. "Kiss Goku. We know you two are secretly in love with each other."

Goku's eyes widened. "You're crazy! Vegeta and I have never been in love! He will never do that!"

"Kakarot."

"Yes Vegeta?"

"Kiss me." replied Vegeta enticingly.

Goku's eyes widened as big as sliver plates while he watched Vegeta approached him with puckered lips. "What's wrong with you Vegeta?"

Stefan and Damon laughed as the two ran around the half-destroyed store, sniggering to themselves. This just got alot more fun.

A far away yell was heard, followed by a loud kissing sound. Stefan and Damon looked at each other before brusting into another fit of laughter. The Z fighters quickly ran over to where Goku and Vegeta were to find Vegeta attempting to make out with Goke. "GET HIM OFF OF ME!" Goke screamed, waiting for someone to help him. Trunks quickly jumped into action and pryed his dad off of Goku.

"Dad, what is wrong with you?" Trunks demaned, shaking his dad a little.

Vegeta quickly snapped back to reality and looked around him, confused. "What happened?"

"Well, one minute you're fine and then the next you're making out with Goku."

"WHAT?" Vegeta looked like his whole face was as ripe as a tomado. He looked at Goke who looked like he was going to wet his pants. He eyes then shifted over to Stefan and Damon, his hair turning a blond color. "You are so dead!"

A/N: Hahaha! Poor Stefan and Damon! If you want to know what happens next then please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Vegeta screamed as electricity surrounded him, making a crackling sound in the air. He cupped his hands together and a ball of light started glowing. Damon and Stefan stared at him with wide eyes as Vegeta screamed, "Final flash!"

"Get down!" Trunks yelled to everyone as they got out of the way. Stefan and Damon quickly snapped out of their state of shock and used vampire speed to evade the oncoming attack. The beam of swirling light missed them by a mile and exploded, destroying the entire store.

Vegeta was breathing heavily as he stood in the center of the rubble that used to be a store. He looked up in the sky to see the Z warriors staring at him and Damon and Stefan were on the ground staring at the destroyed store. Damon looked over at Stefan with a look of despair on his face. "We're both dead."

Stefan nodded. "I know. Elena really needed that meat for the dinner over at our house."

Trunks shook his head at his father. "Want me to start making you a tombstone Dad?"

"Shut up!" Vegeta yelled angrily. "We can always go to a different store and cover this one up somehow."

Damon smirked. "Leave it to me."

Soon, firetrucks and police cars arrived. Vegeta quickly powered down from super sayian and the Z fighters flew back down. The policemen got out and rushed up to the group standing there. "You there, what happened to this store?"

Damon walked up to them and started speaking in a hushed voice. So low that Vegeta was having a hard time hearing. Once he was done, the policemen nodded his thanks and got in his car and left the scene, along with the firemen. Damon turned back to the group with a triumph grin on his face. "Piece of cake."

Goku's mouth started watering. "Cake? Where?"

Krillin sighed at his best friend's ignorance and looked at the demolished store. "What do we do?"

Damon grinned as he turned his eyes toward Stefan. "We could have some fun."

Stefan's eyes widened and shook his head. "Damon, do you SEE the destroyed store infront of us? That could've been us!"

Damon shook his head. "You are too pathetic brother." He speed walked up to Vegeta and looked deep into his eyes while trying not to laugh. "I want you to ask Goku this." He whispered something into Vegeta's ear and he eagerly nodded.

"Ok!" Vegeta chirped happily while skipping up to Goku with a happy smile spread across his face. "Kakarot, I love you so much! Will you have my babies?"

Goku slowly started to back away from Vegeta as he continued to advance on him. "Vegeta, I'm pretty sure that we can't do that."

Faster then the human eye could see, Vegeta captured Goku's mouth in his, digging his tongue and tasting Goku's fluids. Goku screamed in Vegeta's mouth as he tried to find a way to break free from Vegeta's iron like grip. Vegeta pulled away with a sad look on his face as Goku's fist connected with his face. "Get away from me you sick freak!"

Goku instantly regretted that when Vegeta's eyes filled up with tears and he began to cry. "Vegeta, don't cry-"

"KAKROT DOESN'T LOVE ME!" wailed Vegeta in agony, more tears hitting the streets and creating a little river. Damon was trying to catch his breath as he tried to get back up from the ground but failed. He turned to Stefan who was staring at him wide eyed. "Get me the camera brother! This could be the next hit on YouTube!"

Stefan shook his head furiously. "You are not pulling me down with you. If you want to die then your on the right track."

Damon shook his head. "Whatever." He grabbed the video camera out of his pocket and started recording when he saw two people standing a couple miles away from them. One was short and had a beard, and the other one was extremely big and numerous muscles covered his whole body. He wore some sort of necklace around his neck and he wore golden boots. He was staring at Goku in a trance and appeared to be getting more angry every second. His spiky hair wavered every few seconds and his eyes were pure white.

"KAKAROT!" Damon watched in utter amusement as the big guy came charging at Goku and knocking him into the air.

Vegeta continued to sit on the pavement and bawl like a baby while Goku was being flung around like a rag doll. Goku quickly recovered and got into a fighting stance, glaring at the other fighter. "Broly, what are you doing here?"

Broly grinned. "To kill you!" he charged at Goku again and slammed his fist into his face while Goku flew up into the air and prepared a Kamehameha.

Damon had shut the camera off and was smiling as he walked up to Broly, an evil idea festering in his mind. "Hey muscle boy!"

Broly wheeled around angrily to face Damon. Damon's eyes widened as he compelled Broly. "Wow, this guy is hard to compell. Thank god I drank lots of human blood before I came here." Damon muttered to himself, turning his attention back to Broly. "You love Kakarot."

"I love Kakarot." Broly repeated in a trance.

"There is another guy that loves him too, and in order for you two to live together happily, you must kill him." Damon pointed over to Vegeta who was still sobbing.

Broly nodded, cracking his knuckles. "I'll make sure he perishes. Then, Kakarot and I can live happily ever after." Broly turned his attention to Vegeta, glaring evilly. "Vegeta." Broly rasped.

Vegeta turned his watery eyes to Broly. "What do you want?" he sniffled, wiping a stray tear running down his cheek.

"I see you are in love with Kakarot. Well, you see, Kakarot is mine. I say we settle this with a fight. Whoever wins gets to be with Kakarot forever."

Vegeta nodded, standing up and getting into a fighting stance. He powered up to super sayian and glared menacingly at Broly. "A fight it will be. But Kakarot will be mine in the end."

Broly glared angrily as they both dived at each other, throwing punches and kicks and ki blasts. Goku rubbed the back of his head and stared at the two sayians fighting. "So whoever wins gets to be with me forever? I don't want either of them! I have Chi-chi and she'll kill me if I leave her!"

Damon grinned as he watched the fight. "This is great! Are you getting this on camera?"

"Sadly I am." replied Stefan who was holding a video camera.

Trunks turned his attention to the two vampires. "You know that when Dad and Broly snap out of it, you two will be dead before you get a chance to apologize."

Damon grinned. "By the time that happens, we will have already fled the country."

Krillin picked up the neglected shopping list. "Um guys, aren't we supposed to be shopping?"

"Can it baldly, this is too much fun!" laughed Damon as he watched Vegeta get thrown into a building. "We can worry about that later."

"Am I the only one that cares about what our wives will do to us if we come back empty handed?"

Damon nodded. "You are the only one Krillin."

Krillin sighed as he took a seat on the ground and watched the fight. This could take awhile.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chappie! Please review


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